Living in the Realm of Possibilities

23 August. I grow impatient hearing nothing about the biopsy and call the Oncology Department to tell the person answering the phone that if nobody there can take care of me, I’m going somewhere else. Person tells me that if the doctor had wanted to hurry things along, he would have written stat on his orders. She promises to call the scheduling department and get back to me by end of business today. I’m a little consoled that the doctor didn’t write stat on my orders.

She doesn’t call back.

24 August. When I take the dogs outside this morning, a neighbor is resurfacing his garage floor and toxic fumes fill the air. Terrible odor. I feel protective of my lungs and the dogs’ lungs, and hurry back inside. Polluting the air with chemicals should be against the law. When I go out an hour later, the odor is gone.

When I took possession of this house in November 2018, the previous owner had an alarm system, which I didn’t think I needed. The alarm goes off this afternoon and I can’t figure out how to turn it off. Clang! Clang! Clang! The poor dogs are nervous wrecks. They want to run away, but can’t leave me. Can’t find previous owner’s phone number to get code to turn off alarm. I hail a young neighbor and he comes to help. I call the security company and a representative tells me how to do it. The house goes silent.

26 August. Alarm goes off again—this time it’s a rhythmic hammering sound. I find the previous owner’s phone number, get the code, and turn it off, hopefully for good. I want to rip out the alarm system. Ryan tells me to leave it alone, that a pre-wired alarm system is a plus when selling a house.

27 August. I call the oncologist’s office and say telling a patient she has cancer and needs a biopsy with no further communication is cold and heartless. Woman says the time between the diagnosis and scheduling the biopsy is the longest part of the treatment. I ask why. She has no answer. I feel like I’m carrying a bomb inside me.

28 August. Still waiting for call from scheduling department. Sinus headache today.

29 August. Hallelujah! My biopsy is scheduled for September 5 at Methodist Hospital in downtown Indianapolis. No food or drink after midnight. The delay was caused by the radiologist at the hospital sending my test to a radiologist at Methodist Hospital where there’s computer topography to better read the test. Informing patients doesn’t seem to be a priority.

Nights, I’ve been watching Silent Witness, a British series about a female pathologist who has love affairs and solves crimes. Many scenes take place in the autopsy room. I’ve grown accustomed to looking at pretend corpses.

Next post: Biopsy delayed

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